Powerful Insights from Why She Buys


If you are like most people, the women in your life are probably the ones who do it all, who live within the normalcy of hectic schedules, busyness, and extreme multi-tasking.  Regardless of their station in life – older or younger, married, divorced, or single, with or without kids, working full-time or part-time – they have a daily to-do list that must be accomplished. Today’s women do it all!  And while women are doing, doing, doing, they are also thinking, thinking, thinking and they’re buying, buying, buying!!

No one explains it more succinctly than Bridget Brennan, founder and CEO of Female Factor, and author of Why She Buys: “Women are females first and consumers second.”  Below are a few powerful insights from one of my very favorite books!

The Needs of Others are Always a Top Concern

Women are very good at recognizing and taking into consideration the needs of others.  When women are the ones making decisions, they are acutely aware that they are representing not just themselves, but the rest of their group too.  Brennan emphasizes: “It’s important to address absent influencers during the sales process by asking your prospect if there are other people who will be involved in some way.”  

Kids are People, Too!

Brennan urges readers to consider the needs of mothers who have children with them.  Think about whether your funeral home is easy to navigate with strollers or carriers and whether there is a good spot with comfortable furniture for kids and mom to relax.  Consider having a stash of children’s books and toys, or maybe an available television with cartoons or kid movies.  Ensure your restrooms are kid-friendly and equipped with facilities to help parents with infants.  

Demonstrate Your Understanding

Let your female consumers know you understand them by effectively demonstrating empathy.  According to Brennan, expressing empathy can help women feel more comfortable.  She writes: “This is a reassuring style of communication that women use with each other in conversation.  The technique is especially powerful when it comes to complex and expensive purchases.” 

Empathy is simply taking a moment to see things from another person’s perspective.  Demonstrate empathy by anticipating the needs and concerns families may have. It really works….try it!  

132nd FDAK Convention Highlights

imageThis past week was the FDAK Convention in Louisville!  A great time was had by all!  Lots of notables in attendance including Vernie Fountain, Robby Bates (NFDA President), Dean Jones and Star Jones (Emmy award winning special effects makeup artists and founders of Post Mortem Restorative Cosmetics and the original Jimmy Lucas of Lucas Funeral Homes.  It was great to see everyone! 

Remembering and Honoring

{a few of my favorite pics from ANC visits}

Wishing everyone a peaceful Memorial Day as we all take time to remember and honor those who gave the ultimate sacrifice to protect our independence.  

| reading + reflection |  Memorial Day Links

Memorial Day is Every Day for One Verizon Volunteer via tombguard.org

Memorial Day 1911 - 1967 in pictures via LA Times

The Real Story of Memorial Day via Forbes 

8 Things You May Not Know About Memorial Day via History

In honor of Earth Day today here are a few questions to ask families who are desire an earth friendly celebration of life!  Remember, there are different shades of green.  What is earth friendly to one family may not be enough to a different family.  Discover and learn what shade of green they want their loved one’s service to be.

May I ask how you came to select a earth friendly funeral/burial for your mother?

How familiar are you with environmentally friendly funerals/burials?

On a scale of 1 to 10 how earth friendly would you like your mother’s service to be?

What thoughts do you have about how to publicly remember your brother while keeping his service as earth friendly as possible?

What was it about green burial that appealed to your father?

Share with me a little bit about your mother’s commitment to preserving the environment.

In looking back at a traditional funeral service you have attended were there things you liked that you want to incorporate into your mother’s service?

Thoughtful Cremation Questions-Give 1 a Try!


Asking the right questions to get the right answers will help you align your offerings with the experiences families want and need when they are selecting cremation.  Understanding their thoughts and feelings with questions that get to the heart will begin that process of advising.

May I ask how you came to select cremation for your mother? 

Is this the first cremation you are planning in your family?

What type of services did you have in conjunction with the cremation?

How did you feel about those services?

How did you feel about not having a service?

What thoughts do you have about how to publicly remember your brother?

Have you given thought of  when (or where) you may want to scatter your mother’s cremated remains?

Have you given thought to a final resting place for your mother? (notice I did not say ‘for your mother’s cremated remains’)

You may have read a few of those questions and thought to yourself, ‘there is no way I could ask that.’  Not every question is compatible with every funeral director.  Remember, it’s all in how you ask the question. The tone of voice, emotion expressed and genuine desire to learn more from the family will impact the effectiveness of the questions asked.  Give one a try today!

Greetings OFDA 2014 Convention Attendees!

Honoring Mildred Nimmo Lucas


Ask anyone who works for Lucas Family Owned Funeral Homes in North and West Texas about Mildred Nimmo Lucas and they’ll tell you she is incredibly kind, strong, smart and resilient.  At 91 years of age Mrs. Lucas shows no signs of slowing down and the North Texas Funeral Directors Association honored her abounding energy and commitment to funeral service on March 27, 2014.  Mrs. Lucas received the North Texas Funeral Directors Association 2014 Funeral Director of the Year.  Congratulations, Mrs. Lucas!  (pictured above with son Jim Lucas and grandson Jimmy Lucas).

Mrs. Lucas has indeed led a remarkable life as evident by her biography shared with me by her family. Check it out!

Mildred was born in Godley, Texas during the hot August of 1922. Her upbringing was not a privileged one. Her family was poor and moved to Fort Worth in the early ‘1930’s to look for work, as the Great Depression found her father in desperate need of such.

Mildred has remained in Fort Worth ever since and been a life-long resident in the Riverside area, which was its own town when she was a girl before Fort Worth annexed it.

As a young woman at the beginning of America’s involvement in World War II Mildred Nimmo married into the Lucas Clan and thus began her unintentional life in the funeral business. 

Mildred proved to be an amazingly resilient woman full of tenacity, courage, strength and stability. Within a two-week period in the early 1960’s Mildred lost her oldest son in a tragic hunting accident and her husband to ill health. 

The only way to really keep the family business going was for Mildred to attend Mortuary College, as her younger son was still in High School and her father-in-law “Bob Lucas” was elderly and in poor health.  So, Mildred entered the doors at the Dallas Mortuary Institute in 1965 as the ONLY woman amongst a classroom full of men, a daunting task to be sure. Now 48 years later she is still at it 24/7/365 and that ain’t no joke.

Mildred Nimmo Lucas’ primary passion other than her own family is serving families who have suffered the loss of a loved one. Mildred through her own life’s journey has the unique ability to empathize with a grieving family. She is a true gift to society. The term Funeral Director does not fully describe her role in counseling, advising, and sharing love with the bereaved. Mildred Nimmo Lucas, a true Texas Rose and daughter of the American Revolution and the Republic of Texas!


Have you ever come across a product that just blows you away and feel confident it would appeal to families?

Have an idea for personalization that will set your funeral home apart from the competition? 

Do you feel there is a missed opportunity in providing a unique service to the community?

Sitting on these ideas and wondering when the perfect time to bring it up to a manager can be nerve wracking.  It really is all about presentation and timing in order to get the full attention and buy in of the funeral home owner or manager.  One of the best shows on television to learn from when it comes to pitching ideas is Shark Tank on ABC.  On Shark Tank you will see the good, the bad and the embarrassing.     

Here are six tips {inspired by Shark Tank} to help you pitch your ideas to management:  

1.  Establish the problem or missed opportunity the employer needs to be aware of.  Perhaps they have mentioned it in the past without any elaboration.  Refer back to what they have mentioned as a way to show you listened and care about the issue.  

2.  Explain how addressing these issues head on with a real plan or a specific solution will help to gain market share and increase families long term satisfaction.

3.  Identify the solution, new idea or recommendation in detail.

4.  Share the experiences of funeral homes who have successfully implemented your proposed solution. Include with those experience results achieved, client family testimonials and projected growth.

5.  Give the what’s next? Present a plan for moving forward that includes the investment of time and cost.

6.  Provide ample opportunity to examine pros and cons.  To prepare for this discussion jot down anticipated questions and develop your responses.  Look at all angles of an issue and demonstrate you have done your research.

Side note completely unrelated to funeral service.

Here are my four fave products from Shark Tank that I really love:

Travel Hoodie Pillow 


Drop Stop

Scrub Daddy

                                            Special Spotlight

                 Brandy Harwood, CFSP ~ Strode Funeral Home

            Growing up in rural Kentucky, Brandy fondly remembers the power of porch sitting.  It was those long summer nights she spent rocking with her grandparents listening to their stories.  She couldn’t always relate but appreciated those brief moments of reflection in knowing more about their life experiences.  Brandy holds those stories close to her heart and cherishes the time she spends with her children in helping them know more about their grandparents and great grandparents.

This appreciation for storytelling inspires Brandy everyday to help families tell their loved one’s life story.  She actively engages family members to share stories and memories during the arrangement conference.  Over the years and with lots of practice Brandy has gained confidence in asking:

“What memory will you treasure the most about your grandmother?”

“What will your children remember about their weekends at their grandaddy’s house?”

“When you think about your dad what could do better than anyone else?”

Brandy believes that the true purpose of these questions reach far beyond gathering information.  It’s purpose lies in helping families share stories and memories with each other.  During the arrangement conference Brandy serves as facilitator of storytelling between family members.   Asking the right questions is always followed up with listening intently and taking detailed notes.  Brandy listens to how families tell their stories and pays close attention to their emotions.  There’s an undeniable engagement made between family members when reminiscing about a loved one’s life.  That engagement is what Brandy works to achieve in every arrangement conference.  She wants families to feel at the end of that meeting that it was more than a step in the process, that it was an experience in itself and they had active participation in making it a special time.   Her confidence in asking discovery questions has given her the ability to transform the arrangement conference into a very healing experience.

Brandy believes the visitation, funeral or memorial service is an incredible opportunity to deepen the connection between survivors and the loved one.  Her goal in designing a remembrance event is to help everyone feel involved whether they are actively participating or quietly reflecting on their own.  

For just a moment Brandy wants to captivate families’ attention and remind them of the true purpose having a visitation or funeral, which is to remember the life lived together.  To captivate and remember Brandy has incorporated the element of surprise.  During the arrangement she listens to the facts, the stories, the memories and everything in between to pick up on that one trait or likeness of the deceased.  She thinks creatively on how to incorporate it into the visitation or funeral without the family knowledge.  It’s during that moment of surprise families feel that instant connection between the service that are about to take place and their loved one.

Brandy thinks big for community involvement.  She carries her event planning skills over to hosting meaningful community events held at the funeral home.  Each year Brandy and her staff host a Memorial Day tribute.  This tribute features local singers and musicians performing classic patriotic songs and a keynote speaker from the local Army National Guard. Children have the opportunity to color American flag pictures.  Too conclude there is a special video tribute honoring the service men and women who have died serving our country since 9/11.   In planning these types of events Brandy hopes that community members are able to see the effort, talent, and passion the funeral home staff has in providing exceptional events.

Managing three funeral homes and maintaining a strong community presence hasn’t always been a seamless for Brandy.  She often thinks about the future and the impact of business decisions made today.   Staying motivated comes from raising her two young daughters who are part of Generation Z.   She thinks about children of Generation Z who have experienced a death in their family and there was no funeral service to attend.   She thinks about the questions they may have, the confusion they experience and the feelings of grief that go untouched.  Brandy feels inspired to give families strong traditions in mourning a death and honoring a life lived.  Traditions that allow children to learn more about the loved one’s life story and ultimately reflecting upon their funeral experience with positive memories.  

Radiant Orchid ~ How Prepared Are You?

If you have not already noticed purple is everywhere this year! Charming Charlies can’t keep enough purple jewelry in stock, Polyvore users are using purple in every clothing collage created and pinning pretty purple things on Pinterest is a serious obsession.

On December 5, 2013, Pantone {the leading authority on color} announced Radiant Orchid as the 2014 color of the year.  It’s been a long time coming since 2012 when designers and shoppers alike have all been saying purple is the new pink.

So … how ready is your funeral home to meet this new color request?  Below are several items to consider in order to stay on top of this trend.

Do you offer caskets with exterior and/or interior shades that hint to Radiant Orchid or perhaps compliment purple clothing well?

Have you consulted with the local florist in creating exclusive orchid designs or featuring exquisite purple flowers?

Do you offer keepsake jewelry with purple stones?

Do your cremation urns or stationary products give families unique purple choices?

Do you have candy.com on your radar for when purple candy is requested?

What about purple favor bags, ribbons and keepsakes from beau-coup.com?

Do the funeral home lights and/or presentation lamps enhance the intensity of radiant orchid shades or diminish it’s natural radiance?

Is your staff prepared in exploring the deceased’s preferences for personal appearance (makeup, nails, clothing and accessories) that may include shades of radiant orchid or need to compliment this color used elsewhere? Download a helpful cosmetology worksheet created by Darla A. Tripoli {licensed funeral director, licensed cosmetologist and owner of Funeral Service Consultants}

Pamela Owen, founder of Kentucky Fashion and Owen Funeral Home’s Social Media Manager/Interior Designer is very excited about Pantone’s Color of the Year.  Pamela says, “Radiant Orchid can be used for everything from makeup and high fashion to home decorating.”  When determining what colors work with purple shades Pam says to take a good look at the color wheel for guidance and know that Radiant Orchid is a versatile color that works with mossy green to bright yellow.  “It also perks up neutrals like gray and adds a punch of color to pure white,” says Pamela. 

Radiant Orchid is hip, hot and on trend.  Be prepared to help families incorporate this dynamic, uplifting color.